Its been ages since I had a vacation. Its been ages since I have pampered myself all day. Its been ages that I have done anything apart from what I am supposed to do. I crib and crib and crib.

I wake up in the wee hours with my son and my dog who insist I should humour them, I crib. I bustle around taking care of all the morning rituals and start the day, I crib. By afternoon I am too tired and want to rest but can’t cause I have papers to write (and study), so I crib some more. By night, I am dog tired having tucked in the demanding brats for the day, Phew!. But my dearest husband wants to sit around for a while, again I crib.

I reminisce about those days when I woke up when I wanted to and slept when I dropped off. When I packed a few things and took off for the weekend, not a care in the world. I dream of all the lovely places that I want to be and all those fun things that I could do. I make and remake plans. And again I crib.

Somewhere deep inside I know I have what I always wanted. Its only a matter of time before things settle down and I can take my dream vacation or spend the day I want to. But what the heck! Whats wrong with cribbing a little if that gets you a pat in the head and a little cooing sympathy.

Among all that I want to do if I get some time on had, here are a few I jotted down to share:

1. First and foremost I would like to sleep for a week. Ah OK. I’ll be realistic. I would like to wake up at 6 and dive back inside the cover content that someone is there to take care of the baby and the dog. Someone will feed them and humour them. I want to be woken up with a hot morning cuppa and breakfast in bed. I want to go back to sleep for a couple of hours after a sumptuous lunch. Heaven!
2. I would love a nice massage complete with pedicure, manicure and all the extra stuffing that come with it. I just want to lie back, close my eyes, smell the aromatic oil and incense, listen to the soft instrumental, and feel all my tension and stress ebbing. Long enough so that by the end of it I feel like a new person ready to take on another couple of years of stress and hard work. Not the way it usually is with the baby wailing and maid screaming and me running helter skelter all over the house with soapy feet and mud pack on my face.
3. I have been meaning to re-watch all those old movies and episodes of friends. Its been so long since I have had a good laugh. But I haven’t progressed much from ‘meaning to’. I would love to sit down with a pile of dvds’ and watch them one after the other all day till I can watch no more. There obviously has to be an array of mouthwatering snacks and endless supply of pepsi/beer, so I wouldn’t have to go around worrying about lunch and dinner.
4. On the contrary, I would also like some peace of mind so I can read a little. There are lots of books waiting to be read. I just don’t get them home because I know I don’t have the time to read. I would love to lie down with a book like old times and read through the day and night till the last page and then sleep. Once awake I ll pick up another book to go on the same way. I so miss those days when when mum cooked all the food and made sure I was not going hungry and dehydrated.
5. Sometimes I want to go shopping and keep buying mindlessly. The last time I did this was when I was living by myself and had the whole salary to blow away, knowing I had nothing constructive to do with it. Someday I would love to do it again. Walking through the malls or the street bazaars, buying everything that holds my fancy. I don’t want the inner me asking me ‘do you really want it?’ Or ‘not another pair of shoes?’. Come on!
6. One of these days when I really have time on my hands I want to lie down on the couch with my feet up the backrest, and call my friends to have one of those long forgotten gossip sessions. Ones that make u feel like you know about half the world now and makes you smile while you go about the rest of the day. But most of the people I enjoy this session with are not available over the phone, and its not my idea of fun to sit on that hard chair and type away on the keyboard, to get hold of them all. And then spend the whole time shifting around to give some comfort to my back side.
7. Someday I would like to have enough time in my hand to go through the numerous items tucked away around the house that we last used at the age of Adam. We wear less than half the clothes that we possess. But when it comes to chucking, we lovingly put them all back in with a ‘I can still wear that one when I lose weight.’ Well, you said that last year and you have grown bigger not lost weight. And what about all those bottles and jars tucked away in the refrigerator. I look at them and wonder what they were, I put them back again when I fail to give myself an answer. I want to get rid of all of them.
8. Its been so long since I got totally drenched in the rain, just for fun. I would love to do that soon. And, not just get wet, but go swimming in the rain. I used to love to as a kid. These days rain has become a reason to skip swimming. Have to get wet anyway, then why blame the rain?
9. A lovely cloudy-breezy day. The kind that makes u want to fly. I want to hop into a car and go driving. A long drive, away from all the humdrum. Stop on the way at a road side cafe to catch a bite, sitting out in the open. And then drive along to a beach to laze around the rest of the day. Run back to the car when its just about to start pouring. And drive back home in the lashing rain amidst thunder and lightning.
10. And to top the list, when was the last romantic dinner for two? Ummm…Uhhh…lets see… don’t think it was this life. Well dear partner, how about the most romantic setting on top of the tallest building or next to the quiet evening sea? Complete with good food, our favourite wine and dessert? Sounds nice. Close your eyes and you can almost feel the excitement. May be in the near future if I am lucky enough. Or nothing wrong to dream on.

My pregnancy was comfortable, yet eventful. I don’t remember feeling pregnant at anytime, except that I had grown a few sizes too big. Quite a few people commented on how effortlessly I continued to work. However, I did have a hitch in the beginning when lack of knowledge got the tiny little life inside me all bothered. Early morning discomfort had me lying in the hospital for 2 days with strict instructions from the OB-Gyn. I was not supposed to do anything apart from putting my feet up and ordering for first class service. My husband obliged.

We were expecting our bundle of joy to show up around the end of March or April (2008). Likewise, we were all prepared - till the last ultra-sound test told us that things may be otherwise. My doctor prepared us for emergencies that he predicted had a high possibility of occurring. Parents and in-laws returned after warning me to take things easy. I more or less stopped going to the University. My whole day was spent resting, cooking, watching runs and re-runs of the popular TV series ‘Friends’, and playing with my puppy. I knew I had a boisterous baby on the way with the amount of soccer he played inside me.

After a pretty relaxing day on a certain weekend, we decided to go for a short walk before retiring for the day. The walk was a trifle bit uncomfortable, with the kicking more pronounced than ever before. It was 1 o’clock when I started to feel something irregular. I wasn’t absolutely sure, so I waited to confirm. When I was fairly certain I woke my husband up. We rushed to the hospital.

A call before-hand to alert the hospital had them waiting at the gate with a wheelchair. I was immediately deposited at the emergency room, which was not a pleasant experience. There was one guy with a broken leg and another woman screaming something between gasps. It was pretty unnerving when I myself had no clue what was happening to me. All through the pregnancy I had been quite scared about the final act. I had hoped it would be like the way they show in the movies where half the time the woman has no clue what happened to her till they bring a wailing bonny baby to her bed side and all is hunky-dory.

To top it all my husband had disappeared. There were no signs of the doctor. There were a bevy of people who popped in and out to ask me what seemed to be my problem. Luckily they all knew why I was occupying one of the beds. Soon, I was wheeled to a private room with an extra bed and a sofa where my husband was comfortably lounging. I was informed the doctor had given instructions and would arrive in an hour or so depending on the situation. I had no idea that today was D-day, the very day we had all been waiting for - me scared and my husband expectant, like all daddy’s, whose only job at that time is to be happy.

I wondered if they would let me go home once they had done their tests and I kept badgering my husband to ask. My husband didn’t so much as open his mouth. All he wanted to do was dive into the extra bed and go back to sleep. They asked me loads of questions, did a physical test, and then attached a monitor to my tummy to keep a tab on the little one’s heartbeat. It was all normal. They started the saline and asked me to get some sleep. My husband was already snoring.

All efforts to shut my eyes were in vain for they popped open right back only to have them glued to the monitor. 92 - 102 - 86 - 92… it was more or less the same pattern for a while. I felt myself nodding off when my eyes fell one last time on the monitor… 24 - 36 - 20 - 0 - 0 -10 …. I yelled to my husband to call the doctor. They all came running. Checked. Re-checked. Some of them ran out while others came back running. While all this was happening (for 15 minutes or so) they refused to tell me if my baby was alright. When I was ready to scream my doctor walked in. He checked all the reports and informed my husband we were in for an emergency operation as the baby was going into foetal distress. These were all medical mambo-jumbo for me, but enough to hit the panic button.

I am not exactly a religious person. But crisis makes you turn to God. So  did I. I apologized for all the time I failed to pray to him and promised I would do so henceforth, just be with me this time. Please make sure nothing goes wrong with the little one. Please don’t let him suffer.

All this while the people dressed in white were bustling about doing their job. My husband was busy on the phone. I had been injected with a sedative which made me extremely drowsy - but I was scared to fall asleep. I was wheeled into the OT which looked pretty forbidding. No one in their right mind would want to walk in there just for fun. Someone came and said I would have to take the diamond nose pin off.  While at other times I I’m very particular about my possessions, for once I didn’t care.

The anaesthetist introduced himself and informed that even though this was going to be a cesarean birth I couldn’t have normal anesthesia as it would affect my baby. He informed further that it would be a local anesthesia through the spine. I didn’t have much faith on locals after experiences with my dentist, but I was in no position to bargain. They tied up my arms and feet against the bed and turned me around to administer the dosage for anesthesia. I felt a sharp pain and something burning down my limbs. Everything became numb as soon as the burning reached my toes. I started shivering and complained about the air-con only to be informed this was an effect of the drug administered. I lay there shivering against the steel, feeling the scalpel cut through my flesh with only a single thought  occupying my mind - “Please God let everything be alright”. The anesthetist kept his word and kept warning me in advance about the next step along with a “will hurt” and “won’t hurt”. I have never felt greater pain in my life than when the doctors were pushing the baby out. I just knew I had to get it over with. I know I screamed my lungs off as no amount of teeth clenching helped, and prayed for strength to see me through this. Suddenly, my reverie broke with feeble wails. I forgot the pain and started crying. Relief, gratitude, happiness all washing over me at the same time. The doctor smiled and held up a baby covered in blood and mucus and said “Its a boy.” I cried some more.

The anesthetist informed I could opt for a sedative now and sleep through the rest of the ordeal or see my baby when they clean him and bring him over. I thought, I have been through the worst in full consciousness, then why sleep through the better part. I opted for the latter. They sewed me up and the doctor informed me how there was not a single drop of fluid left in the amniotic sac and it was damned lucky that I  had decided to run down to the hospital. My newborn son supposedly swallowed some of that water and they were pumping it out of him. This was to cause a lot of heartache and tension later, but that’s all history now. They brought me my baby. Even though I felt half dead and was retching, I still managed to give the sleeping angel a tiny kiss. His skin felt like velvet. They carried him away and wheeled me to the ICU for a couple of hours of observation.

I thought the excitement was over and could now sleep for a while. I had no clue what was in store for the rest of the day. My husband popped in to say how much the baby looked like me and what our dear ones around the world had to say. I slept only after midnight after being awake for 24hrs. The next few days was a flurry of activities and a lot of tension what with my baby being born premature and that too having gulped down mouthfuls of the amniotic fluid.

When I think back to that night, I don’t remember the fear, pain or uncertainty. All I remember is the happiness I felt on seeing my son for the first time. It was an experience worth all the pain I endured.

Resolutions are an in thing. Every New Years Eve party I get to hear 100’s of new resolutions being made by acquaintances, friends, and family. When I happen to check back, 90% of the time they would have given up and gone their old ways. Come next 31st night, there would be another 100 more made in a drunken stupor!

A survey found that…

35% of respondents break their New Year’s resolutions by the end of January and only 23% of those surveyed don’t ever break them. Nearly 40% of those surveyed attribute breaking their resolutions to having too many other things to do, while 33% say they are not committed to the resolutions they set.

Phew! Facts and figures never impressed resolution makers. I am no different. I make my share of resolutions, and I don’t even wait for the 31st of December. I break them too, double fast.

I was going over the resolutions I have heard being made and broken within a few days. Me being no exception. Here are a few.

1. Quit Smoking: This is the king of all resolutions that are broken within a max of 3 days. I have seen my father, father-in-law, husband, friends everyone go through the same routine. The resolution comes with a date from which it’s going to be history. The last smoking day is also celebrated with great ceremony. Then comes the hard part. Smoking pangs, restlessness and the hand itching towards just-one-smoke-today. Wham! All’s back to square one. I keep trying.
2. Exercise: Another one. Me being a culprit too this time. My husband has been getting thicker around the midriff and I need to work off the pregnancy fat. We start walking and continue for 3 days. Then comes the rest period and we never hit the road again. Next we started our regular swims. This time it was for almost a fortnight and then the rain gods interfered. My husband got the perfect excuse. He didn’t want us getting hit by the lightning and I too decided to finish all the pending work instead of taking a risk - so, hey! how about tomorrow? Unfortunately, the tomorrow never came. Friends proudly inform us how they have been walking and running and swimming. By the time we meet again it’s all a thing of the past. Let’s see when we start again. Sigh!
3. Eat healthy: I try, but in vain. I try to include the maximum number of fruits and veggies in the diet. A couple of days without meat and I have a complaining husband on hand who supposedly feels meat deprived and gets a craving. Ho! We are back on meaty diets. The salads and yogurt and sprouts become more of an occasional diet than a regular one. I hear the same everywhere I go. Its only my mother-in-law who has kept it somewhat simple at home, though she gives up each time her husband and son step in. I still keep trying.
4. Save money: This must be an art or some people just earn so much that they get tired spending and end up stacking. However much we try we find someway of spending all and more by the 20th of the month. I have heard the same story being repeated with most people. I had a feeling its just us or that people lie to us to make us feel good. Someday we shall have to start thinking of the rainy days.
5. Stick to the budget: Well, I try. But supermarkets and shopping malls get the horned-tailed me in a frenzy. If I think of spending a 1000 bucks I have to go armed with a min of 3k to pay the bill and walk out without being caught for shoplifting. I still have to learn how people manage to stick to there little note of things they need and not buy more, cause I invariably remember a dozen things forgot to include. In this aspect me and my husband give each other competition. And I am glad to say we have equally like minded friends and family.
6. Get organized: I read somewhere that we should keep getting rid of all the excess stuff in the house to avid clutter, cause this clutter tends to get into our minds and create more confusion. Hence, more than once I have sat down to throw away all that I don’t require and alas! I never find anything that I think is worth throwing away. Some day I have to make my priorities and get along with this job. What are my priorities again??
7. Be cool: I have a weird habit. I tend to lose my temper about small things and yet stay calm when the rest of the world panics. I still have no clue why I behave the way I do but so far all my resolutions in this field have died a horrible death. I have seen this in a couple of my friends and my mum too. We regret immediately for what we said or did, but by then its too late. I envy all those people who manage to control their wrath so well.
8. Be nice to people: I am. Whoever I deal with everyday end up saying I am nice but I don’t feel I live up to the compliment. Refer back to point 7 for this. My temper makes me say and do things that I have long tried to control, in vain. I go back and apologize and feel terrible about it. I have noticed this in others too. I have to say I am much better than all those people who do not feel any remorse after saying the meanest things. It doesn’t cost much. May be some day I shall overcome this flaw with practice.
9. Make a difference: I always felt I wasn’t born to just live a normal life and die. I want to make my presence felt. Do something that requires doing. There are some many agendas that I can think of even without trying. I don’t know when I will start. When I hear of people doing little kindness, I start wondering when it will be me. Being bogged down by work and daily pressures is an excuse for the weak and I know that’s one thing I am not.
10. Be happy: Sounds like a cliche. But, its my motto in life. I fail miserably at times and then I bounce back. A war wrecked country, a plague infested town and the people still manage a smile. I am so much better off, knock wood. Why is it such a difficult task? I try my level best and spread the word too. Happy people make me happy.

I have learnt one thing from my failed resolutions. Strengthen your conviction by identifying the ‘why’ behind your resolution. This ‘why’ will give you the bigger picture, the values which give you meaning to life. To make your work easier make your goals realistic, write them down, share it with people, track your progress. Reward yourself when you keep your promise. If you slip up start again.

Recently I joined a few blogging networks hoping to meet fellow bloggers with interesting blogs. The first person I met requested that I should review a few blogs and share my opinion with them.

I was appalled at the quality of the blogs he wanted me to review. I am no great writer myself but I know I can write once in a while. The sites I was supposed to review were nothing short of horrible (that is, if I am still being nice to them). I was in a good mind to ask a couple of them to stop writing such utter nonsense in the name of blogging. Then, there were people who made me want to run back to my junior school grammar class. I kept cribbing as to what to write about all those abysmal posts when I stumbled upon this one particular blog.

The blog title said it all - ‘Designed to crash and destined to fly’. Catchy to the core!

Blog address: http://nowwhoisit.blogspot.com/

The first blog that made me smile in a long while. After a long hard day at college and trying to put my baby to sleep, this one was like a breather of fresh air with those Mentos perks to it - a wonderful departure from those utterly despicable ones which don’t even deserve a comment here.

The author is still in college and from what I understood he is still trying to decide on his career once he moves out of studies. But his writing strikes a chord. He has an honest opinion and he’s is quite the poet.

Keep in mind that I am not much into poetry - so it was his writing skills which got me fascinated. Sarcastic (satiric at times) - yet simple and brief. He speaks from his heart and reminds you of times you may have felt the same way.

The author tried to do his bit by helping teenagers who are depressed and suicidal. His near failure didn’t bog him down. He still continues his good work to pave his way to heaven. God bless him!

His wish-list of Things to do before 30 is almost rib tickling (Sorry pal!). Even his dilemma over the choice of career makes a wonderful read. The article about Beauty Bisected is spoken right from the heart. Touched!

May be you should change the template. Just a suggestion since it was quite a hindrance while reading though the blog.

Its worth every second of your precious time to go through this blog.

I was always a romantic, even before I knew the meaning of the word ‘Romance’. The notion of ‘love-at-first-sight’ was something I wanted to experience the most. Romance novels and movies made the situation inside my head worse than ever.

End result: I fell in love every week. My love at first sight happened only to sizzle away within 3 days. The longest it stayed back at that point of time was may be a week or at the most 10 days. Eventually I gave up and became a skeptic. Just then good old cupid took matters into his able hands. I can’t say I fell in love the moment I set my eyes on him, but it definitely started sometime on that first meeting. But of course, I realized it much later. Years later! Four or five years to be precise. Even then I wonder, does love-at-first-sight exist or am I still being an ass.

Wikipedia describes:

Love at first sight is an emotional condition whereby a person feels romantic attraction for a stranger on the first encounter with the stranger. The term may be used to refer to a mere sexual attraction or crush , but it usually refers to actually falling in love with someone literally the very first time one sees him or her, along with the deep desire to have an intimate relationship with that person. The stranger may or may not be aware that the other person has any such notion, and may not even be aware of the other person’s presence (such as in a crowded place). Sometimes two people experience this phenomenon towards each other at the same time, usually when their eyes meet.

BBC, edition 10th September 2004 claims:

Proof: love at first sight exists

Love at first sight may not be just for old romantics, according to scientists.

People decide what kind of relationship they want within minutes of meeting, a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships said.

“It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. We make a prediction about what kind of relationship we could have with a person and that helps determine how much effort we are willing to put into developing a relationship.”….

Whether it happened to me or I imagined the whole thing, it’s definitely good news for hopeless romantics. This whole affair has scientific merit to it. May be a few pointers will help here since colour and body language helps all such situations.

1. Wear bright colours if you are out to make strong first impressions. Preferably red, since it’s the most stimulating colour on women. Men on the other hand should wear blue as the colour blue depicts the person as being faithful and reliable.
2. Smile a lot. A smiling face is the most attractive and approachable. Make sure the smile isn’t a fake one which can be easily seen through. Be happy and show your happy face.
3. Wear the right scent. Licorice for men - for some weird reason women are attracted to that particular perfume. Vanilla and cinnamon for women, be it in the form of lotion or perfume. This is an instant attraction / turn-on for men.

These are just ideas which may work in your favour. No one knows when the little guy with the arrow decides to strike. You may be dressed as a pumpkin for the children’s play when the man you have been waiting for all your life sees through all that make-up and promptly falls in love with you. Or it may take you years to realize your crush of yesteryears is the only one you can think of every time the Love word pops up in your mind.

We were drinking our evening cup of steaming tea. The camcorder kept changing hands between us as we checked how far into the evening we could see through its powerful lens. We checked the road, the traffic and the beautiful sunset. We kept suggesting to each other what else we could try and watch.

I turned my attention to the duplex apartment that we always found fascinating. We kept watching it from the bedroom window everyday, wondering who stayed there and how they lived. Its a lovely apartment.

The lights were on. That made me happy since I could now snoop at the contents of the place. Suddenly, a female figure appeared dressed in a white toweling robe, her hair disheveled. She seemed to be shouting at someone who was out of my range. Something happened and she cowered. I knew it was wrong of me to be watching, but I was unable to put the camera down. I pushed the record button instead.

Two men appeared in my field of vision now. They were dressed in black overcoats, which was funny because it was an exceptionally humid evening. The first man was holding something pointed at the lady who was now half-lying on the couch. Something happened. The lady cowered again and the lamp on the side table shattered. The second man took something out of his pocket and rushed to the lady. Nothing happened for a few moments. The moment passed. The second man moved away from the lady and she slipped to the floor and lay there.

The whole episode hit me hard. By the time I realized what I may have witnessed, both the men were standing at the French window looking straight at me. I stopped breathing when I saw they were pointing towards our window. I must have turned a shade of white because my husband noticed something was wrong even before I had said anything. I passed the camcorder to him and he played the whole recording. By then the men had vanished.

We were at a loss. We were fairly certain the men would be at our door steps in a few minutes. We thought of locking up and rushing to the police. Then we wondered how much they would understand us with our broken Thai. Our second option was going over to the embassy. While we were still musing…

… we had finished our cup of tea and toast. We decided to stop our fantasy right there, put the camcorder back in its case and get on with our evening chores.

Before you start wondering - we cooked up the murder while watching the empty duplex and the parking lot. But what would we do had it been real??

People have started locking up their profiles these days. They want to save themselves from the wolves who snoop on other peoples lives. Duplicate profiles and unwanted publicity is a reality in cyber-life.

How long can you save yourself by just locking yourself away from the world? Who are you scared of - strangers or yourself? Why be part of a social networking site if you cannot trust anybody? Are you sure that all the people you have added as friends won’t turn against you one fine day and do all that you are scared of? What will you do then? Who will you blame?

Ages ago when humans could not understand the works of nature and couldn’t save themselves from natural calamities they turned these calamities into God. They worshiped the Sun, the Moon and the Rain. They offered riches to the Wind, the Thunder and the Sea. Did all that really help? Even at this age we suffer from tsunamis, cyclones and earthquakes.

If a calamity has to happen it will happen. They wont forewarn us about a place or time. They won’t think if they are about to hit the richest or the people who die everyday due to poverty. Such is the character of nature.

People are one of the masterpieces of nature. Do you think that a lock on your profile will hold back people who have set their minds from breaking in? May be tomorrow one of your many friends will want to settle a score and strike against you. How long will you live so scared? And if thats how you want to live then why be present in this unsure world of cyber-crimes? Your stalker will have no face, no history, only his vengeance. Who will you fight? Wouldn’t you be better off behind the safe cocoon of barred doors, away from this contraption called computer?

Lets suppose the worst. A close friend with all your information decides to trade you off. What happens to you next? You will be shocked. You will be sad.You may even be sorry that you were betrayed by a so called friend. But will all this really affect you? Will it really change the person you are? Will it make people who really matter care what some unethical backstabber or some stranger has to say about the person they have known and loved for so long? I don’t believe so. Whoever has a change of heart with such incidents are better off away from you.

Then why all this secrecy? Why shun all the people who you could get to know? There is so much to know in this world and so many people you could meet. Locked doors don’t just discourage people they turn away opportunities too. And in a social networking site, I would say locking up is sheer stupidity.

I was never too fond of kids. I enjoyed watching the activities of cute kids or would cuddle and play with one given an opportunity, but I never craved kids. You know how there are some people who just have to drool and swoon as soon as they see a baby - any baby (even if they are really not soooo cute). Well, I never understood the psychology behind it. Or, may be I was more steel-hearted than I cared to give myself credit for. Instead I preferred little pups and kitties.

Whatever the reason, or the psychological problem behind my behavior, I was a little apprehensive on finding myself pregnant. I was worried at times if I would find my own kid cute. But that was momentary. Not because all my doubts were cleared by this sudden mommy-feeling that most pregnant women claim to feel (I didn’t feel very mommy-ish for quite a while). I got very busy with studies and lots of other things that I wouldn’t care to mention right now.

From time to time I would get bouts of mood-swings and act crazy for a while till I hit my head somewhere and returned to my senses. These reactions scared me too, since I wasn’t sure if I could hold my temper with a baby whose main motto in life would be to irritate me.

I found my answers without trying too hard. I was pretty much left alone with my newborn son, since we live in a land far away from home and cannot expect the parents to keeping popping by as soon as I am ready to give up. So, eventually I learned the ropes. Discovered new tricks. Trained my husband too, since two heads are better than one.

First time I held him in my arms at the hospital, I was scared I might break something or hurt him somehow. When we stepped into our home with him for the first time, he just kept crying and refused to do anything else. I was convinced I was the worst mom!

But Day Two saw my little one cuddling up to me and accepting his food. He decided to trust his little self with the one he instinctively knew to be Mommy. The doctor said he knows me. The nurse said I should talk to him since he knows my voice. I decided to follow advice this time.

Little by little things fell into place. Tiny learned new tricks too while Mommy was busy learning the ropes. But Mommy was smarter than he thought. So he found a new victim in Daddy. He yelled and screamed and nagged if left alone with my husband and got his way. He wanted to be taken for rides around the house. He wanted to be played with all the time that Mommy wasn’t to be seen. And, he wanted all the attention possible because Daddy obviously doesn’t know that little will be quiet if handed ‘Pooh’ or the multi-colored rings.

Today it feels like I have been handling my baby all my life. And no I am never angry with him and never throw a tantrum with him around. I think he is the cutest kid on earth. Funnily these days even I have started finding most kids (not all) cute too. I can’t think of a life without my son.

Not that I know it all. Baby does keep Mommy on her toes. Like this time when I tried to put him to sleep for two hours one afternoon and he took me for a ride (check slideshow). By the end of it, I was fast asleep from my own lullabies and my bundle-of-joy was still rolling around in the bed, coo-ing to himself and chewing on everything that was deemed chewable. When I woke up with a start in about half an hour, I found him deep asleep on one corner of the bed, sleeping like a turtle cuddled up against ‘Pooh’. Just watching him like this makes the days of doubt seem so far away.

Happiness is a state of mind. Only you can decide whether or not to be happy. I feel everyone wants to be happy but just don’t know how. It’s not so difficult if you put in a little bit of effort.

I am not writing this because I have achieved the near impossible and learned to be happy all the time. That would seem more than a little weird to me. Earlier I used to have spells of depression which wouldn’t leave me alone for days - till one day I decided to take control of my life and stop feeling so sad and sorry for myself. I still have my moments but I have learnt how to break the evil spell too. There’s nothing more degrading than to wallow in self pity hoping someone would notice.

Here are a few ways I try to feel better.

1. You are no one’s judge: “When you point at someone, the rest of the three fingers point at you.” Stop judging right now. Be it self-judgment, or judging others.

   For yourself: If your circumstance seems too difficult, try to resist less. Give yourself time and space to accept what is. Whatever you achieve, someone else will always do better. However bad you are, others are worse. Change along with the situation. There’s no better way to adjust. Treat yourself well. Give up feeling guilty as it changes nothing in your life. Try to put things right and if that’s not possible accept you screwed up and don’t repeat it again. Let it go! Stop trying to be perfect. You don’t have to impress anyone.

   For others: Judging others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot create a reliable or objective scale. You have a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. You really don’t know what led them to behave the way they did. There is always the other side of the story and you are no one to decide who is speaking the truth. Who cares about your opinion anyway? Instead just hear them out if they need a friend. Or avoid any circumstance where you are forced to judge them. Being rude or gossiping will only harm the person and shake their confidence in humanity at large. At some point, your actions will make you feel smaller than a little insect. Empathy costs nothing but makes you feel good when you lie back at the end of the day and take a count. No one can be perfect.

2. Dwell in the present: Why waste time regretting about the past or worrying about the future when neither is within your reach? Worry is an energy vampire. There is nothing you can do to undo the past while the thoughts eat into you. On the other hand what happens in the future cannot be controlled either. So no use wasting precious time and energy there.

   Be content with the present. Believe ‘everything happens for a reason’ and it cannot be too bad for too long. Happiness will find its way into your heart.

   I have noticed people getting more miserable comparing themselves with others. Petty feeling like jealousy, enmity, revenge and hatred overpowers the good side in you. Don’t dwell in those feelings. They end up leaving a bad taste in your mouth which refuses to leave. Acceptance is a great feeling and better still would be if you can manage to not get bogged down by anything. The energy vampires will be forced to leave you alone.

3. Don’t forget to say “Thank You”: Always be grateful for all that you have. Not just to God but to all the people who make life comfortable for you. While you pray to God don’t forget to thank your maid or lift-man for their service. It’s very motivating when you see all those people who own less than half of what you possess and yet manage to laugh and love more than you ever manage to do. When we concentrate on the good in our life it tends to increase. Being thankful of the little things in life makes happiness multiply exponentially.

   Be grateful for what you are. Take time out for yourself. It’s a blessing in itself and you need to keep yourself beautiful just as a token of the gratitude. Pamper yourself once in a while. Take the massage you wanted to. Put your feet up and watch the sun go down sipping on your favourite cocktail. Meditate. Spend twenty minutes every day just with yourself allowing your mind to go blank and fill in with the silence and calm. It will reboot your system just like your computer. Think positive. Monitor our thoughts to delete all negative ones and run only positive ones. It will be a refreshing treat to you.

4. Don’t care what others think of you: Be self authorized. Don’t make your decisions based on what others think you should do. Think for yourself. Analyze the situation for yourself.

   Stop concerning yourself with what the rest of the world thinks about you. People shouldn’t be able to control your emotions. Even though we bother ourselves with what others think and feel the truth is most people are too busy with their own lives to be concerned about you. Your sadness or happiness affect only those who are your closest family, and that too is limited to the time they can spare for you. The rest don’t matter. Keep them restricted to the outer circles. The more people you include the more complicated your problems will seem with their criticism and opinions. Lessen complications and life will seem simpler.

   Remember to be true to yourself. Speak the truth to yourself. Be responsible for all your actions. Sometimes the world won’t understand your decisions and gossip or try to help. Stick to your own decisions which you know to be true. Everything will fall into place eventually.

5. Reassess your priorities: Expand your options. Allow more possibilities for today and tomorrow. Don’t limit yourself just because things went badly wrong sometime in the past. Think of all the times things went better that what you had hoped. Drop the word impossible from your dictionary. The word impossible itself spells “I’m possible”. Every morning while you wash your face look at your eyes in the mirror and repeat ‘I can’ and watch your confidence build every day.

   Build castles in the air. Then you would just need to build the framework to make our dream a reality. Shoot for the stars and you will be glad when you land on ‘Cloud Nine’. Keep a checklist on your dreams and desires. That will help you to work towards them.

   To keep going fuel your emotional needs. Spend time with your family. Take your grandmother to the temple. Play with your baby. Take the dog for his evening walk. Make an effort to connect with people.

6. Do what you desire: Do things that make you happy. Sometimes people do things to make others happy and end up miserable. They don’t do justice to themselves nor the people who love them. Do what you want to do and not what you have to do. Life is too short to waste in little displeasures like these. It may be an unsatisfying job or a relationship gone sour or it may be something really miniscule. You have to decide what to hold on to and what to get rid of. Streamline your life and your confidence will soar. Don’t waste your energy pushing away all that you don’t want. Take one step at a time and build the life of your dreams.

7. Decide to be happy: If you stay happy against your current circumstances nothing can erase happiness from your life. Your effort will take control. When you are happy you will attract like- minded positive people to share your life and change the way others look at life.

   Know that words are powerful. Keep conflict to the minimum and understanding to the maximum between all those who matter to you. Keep no place for misunderstanding due to lack of communication. Monitor your words as they may have a negative effect on people even without your knowing. Don’t promise something undeliverable. Not keeping your promise would be reason enough for even the closest to lose faith in you.

8. Choose a fulfilling career: Love your work. Choose a profession that would give you satisfaction. Give your 100% to it. This will not only be your source of sustenance but also provide food for your table. Let it be exciting, challenging and full of life than something lackluster just to pay the bills. It’s never too late to switch to a career of your choice today with the number of options available.

   Don’t be too concerned if everything doesn’t work like clockwork and strictly to your plans. The world changes constantly. Planning is only a discipline to make people think carefully. Once you start keep your eyes strictly on reality. Eventually things will turn for the better.

   Don’t let work stress bring you down. Take a break. Go for a vacation. Spend time with family and regain all the lost energy. Make it a break strictly off work so that you yearn to get back to work with fresh ideas and new zeal.

9. Choose how you feel: Don’t let anything or anyone make you feel a certain way. People react to different situations in different ways; hence they choose how they feel. You always have a leeway when it comes to deciding your emotions.

   Stop making a big deal of how you feel. It will soon pass. When you cannot control your emotions from arising it makes no sense to be proud or ashamed of them. It’s your actions that are in your control. That is what you should be responsible for.

   Believe in your destiny. You didn’t stumble upon it by chance. There’s a purpose behind everything. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and it is in your power to change it as soon as you decide to work on it. Listen to your intuition and it will open doors to a path of opportunities and success.

10. Be happy: Do all the things that have the power to make you smile and laugh. Spend all your free time doing all that you want to do. Play with your pets. Cuddle your baby. Chat with your parents. Relax with your husband or partner. Watch all the movies you wanted to watch – make it a movie day. Play loud music so that you can’t hear our thoughts. Help someone with their bank work. Cook to our hearts content and feel your family’s satisfaction at the dinner table. Eat all that you want to eat once in a while without checking its calorie contents. Catch up with friends. Do some shopping for fun. Throw a party. Relax with a book on a rainy day with a cup of steaming cocoa. Smile at yourself at the mirror and revel that even after all these decades you feel sixteen at heart. Be happy!

Shifting home can be a pain, be it two blocks away or to another part of the world. But again, its a necessity for us unlucky ones. We flit from place to place and tugging along our worldly belongings.

I have shifted base so many times within these three decades of my existence that I am a pro at packing now. But, there’s always the starting trouble. Its like a ‘writers block’ when they have the material but don’t know where to start. I have the packing boxes and the cases but never know where to start, while the clock keeps ticking away. Then with a jolt I wake up and start packing with renewed vigor.

The most sensible decision is to limit your worldly possessions. Be it the clothes, utensils or furniture. Always stick to furnished places and replace old clothes with new instead of burying the old ones under the new. The gist - don’t spend your hard-earned greens on things which you may have to leave behind while shifting an year later. Or will cause you to shell out a fat bundle just to get them transported to your new abode.

That was advice for the smart few. For the ones who have been stupid enough to stock up against your better judgment, over the years I learnt a few important lessons in the packing-shifting field that just may come in handy while shifting base.

1. Start packing as soon as all the legalities are completed. Don’t wait till the last weekend. Instead pack a little everyday.
2. Start by pulling out all the cases and rucksacks that you stuffed away over the years hoping never to use them again, except for that occasional outing/vacation. Packing boxes are a good option for such occasions and they are easily available for a few bucks or sometimes even for free at the local supermarket.
3. Keep the following things handy while packing:
   Plastic bags, labels (for easy identification), bubble-wraps and tissues (for the delicate), clean news print (for cushioning), packing tape or gummed tape, aluminum foil, cling wrap, scissors, box knife, plastic ties, rubber-bands, note pad and pencil.
4. Pack one room at a time and that too one area of the room in one box. Its best not to pack things from different rooms in one box as it will be difficult to find when in a hurry or while unpacking. Keep notes on what you pack and label them appropriately before storing them away.
5. Start by packing away things that you wont need for the next busy fortnight. Pack away all the DVDs / CDs, books and magazines. Avoid packing too many books in one carton as books can be incredibly heavy. Pack them alternatively pages - spine - pages - spine, to give them proper support and avoid damaging them.
6. Kitchen and bathroom should ideally be the last places to pack unless there are utensils and toiletries that have spares and can be packed away.
7. Never exceed the gross weight of the boxes. Use appropriate cushioning inside the boxes depending on the kind of items being packed. Towels, old clothes and news prints can be used as good cushioning. Paper should be used as cushioning for light stuff only as they tend to flatten when used against heavier items. Use cloth and towels for the heavier ones.
8. Use bubble wrap and tissues for fragile items and glassware. Wrap each of these items separately.
9. Put the china in a separate box from light weight glass items. The plates should be arranged so that they range from the bigger to the smaller with cushioning in between and the edges. Don’t pile too many together so they don’t break due to their own weight.
10. The closure of the boxes are as important as cushioning. Make sure that the top as well as the bottom is taped securely with a strong tape. Do not over-stuff boxes. Label all boxes according to where they belong. You will appreciate this while unpacking.
11. Mark and label fragile boxes with care. Do the labeling in bold so that those boxes are not dropped or kicked around. Also mark which side should stay up.
12. Mirrors, glass/marble tops for tables and glass shelves should be packed one in each case. They should first be wrapped in bubble wrap or soft towels and then secured with packing tape to strengthen them. Cups, tumblers and bowls too should be wrapped each item separately and then packed together in groups.
13. Shoes should go into shoe boxes or shoe bags and then packed into packing boxes.
14. Foldable clothes can go into bags and carton boxes. Use big suitcases for hanging clothes so as not to crumple and crease them. Small appliances can be wrapped and stored in the clothes cases using the clothes as cushioning.
15. Cushions, pillows and mattresses should be wrapped either with cling wrap or mattress bags to avoid soiling.
16. Do not pack perishable food items for long journeys. For shorter journeys make sure you store them in the refrigerator as soon as they reach the destination. Place the freezer / refrigerator near any convenient plug point temporarily.
17. Wrap the head of the mops and brooms with plastic packets and store in the cleaned and dried mopping buckets.
18. Clean and dry all big appliances before transporting them. All pipes and wires should either be packed away or taped to the appliances. Proper cushioning should be provided where required.
19. Potted flowers and plants should be transported carefully at the back of the vans to avoid tipping and crushing. These will survive short distances but very difficult for long distances.
20. It is better to have a lot of boxes that you can lift instead of a few boxes which give u backache.
21. There are some items that would have to travel with you and not the van like jewelery, piggy banks, stamp - coin collections, important documents, family photographs and any other item that may require personal care.
22. When all the packing is completed you will still find a number of daily items lying around. Use plastic packets to collect them and pack them all together in a carton. They can be marked as miscellaneous.
23. Someone reliable and responsible should be in charge of the transporting. Make sure every item is handled carefully and stacked in the correct manner.
24. Unload boxes according to labels in their allotted rooms. Kitchen stuff shouldn’t go into the bedroom. Leave enough floor space to allow unrestricted movement.
25. Unpack breakables over the box you’re taking them out of, that way, if you happen to drop an item, it will land on some packing material, thereby reducing its chance of breakage.

These are about all I can think of at the moment to make the packing - shifting - unpacking ritual less painful. But again, you can never be too careful.